Retro Rewind - Nuking All Across The World

Remember 15 years ago? I remember when our computer was a huge box of a tower that was lighter than anything, because it had nothing in it. We had to get a special video card which could support shading for this one game I wanted to play. There was old tube monitor, a plain white mouse and keyboard and one hell of a good time. It may have taken more than five minutes to boot up, but once it got there, it was fun times ahead.

Being good kids, we didn't spend too much time on the computer. A few hours at a time per day was more than enough for us, and one game I definately enjoyed was Duke Nukem. I played the old sidescolling demo, which actually contained 5 full sized missions, and the then all fancy 3D version. Just to point out that 3D back then was flash new stuff and this was one of the first games I player which actually allowed you to look up, as awkward as it was without mouse support.

I happily picked up the entire Megaton edition of Duke Nukem 3D on Steam not long ago. Even though it now has mouse support, I quickly got a stark reminder how difficult games were back then compared to now. I played Hollywood Holocaust (the first level) on Hard and got my butt handed to me in lead. That's a big problem these days, games are meant to be played, not be a challenge. I'd like to see a Modern Warfare elitist play this game on the hardest setting, the crying would be a fantastic sight.

Games were creative back then, even original compared to todays standards. Playing through the 'Life's A Beach' campaign, Duke faces off with tropical flavored aliens armed with water pistols. It is insane, but still a joy to play; not many games let you ride a waterslide while shooting aliens in the face these days.

Duke Nukem is old, there's no getting around that. Anyone who wants to play it is going to have to get past the pixel graphics, and although it now has a 'Smoothing' option, I personally prefered the pixellated view. If you're going retro, you gotta go all the way. There is still fun to be had, but like many old games, it's best enjoyed in small doses so your mind doesn't collapse on itself screaming at you to stop subjecting it to such a simple game. It doesn't even have iron sights! Point and Click baby!

In the words of Duke; Life's a bitch, and then you die!

(P.S. Please don't mention Forever, otherwise Duke will come for you while you sleep. I think he's still got that shrinking gun too.)